How To: Just Say Hello

Ever found yourself at a loss for what to do when you meet someone experiencing homelessness? You're not alone. Picture this: you're rushing into the grocery store, and you notice a person outside, their hopeful eyes catching yours. You want to help, but uncertainty holds you back. It's a common feeling, one most of us have experienced.

But here's the thing: connecting with our unhoused neighbors doesn't have to be daunting. In fact, it can be as simple as saying "hello" with sincerity and empathy.

Over the next few posts, we'll dive into practical strategies on how to “just say hello” with kindness and respect. It all starts with the right mindset – approaching each interaction without judgment and with kindness in our hearts.

Introducing ourselves, offering assistance by asking questions, and keeping essentials like snacks, socks or cash handy are just a few ways we can make a difference by starting small. And remember, safety is paramount – for both ourselves and those we wish to help.

So, join us in this series as we explore the power of a simple "hello" and learn how to brighten someone's day.. Together, let's build a community where everyone feels seen and connected.

Tips credited to Shelli, a former Facing Homelessness Board Member.

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you're moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/ and click on the 'donate' button and consider a "monthly recurring" donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!

Just Say Hello

“justsayHELLO” But, how?

This is the third post in a series offering thoughts on engaging with our neighbors in need. This post includes some ideas for putting together Care Kits which can be another way to help out and share a little love and compassion!

When my time and finances allow, I build small care kits to distribute to folks in need.
I like to include:
-Several protein bars and other healthy snacks. (It’s a good idea to find things that are easy to chew because dental issues are common for people who’ve been without healthcare for a long time.)
-At least a few individually wrapped candies (chocolate when the weather is cool enough)!
-Individual packets of Kleenex and/or bandanas
-Hand sanitizer and small packet of baby wipes
-Toothbrush/small toothpaste/floss
-Toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, deodorant and lotion - travel size)
-Washcloth
-Small packets or containers of ibuprofen/acetaminophen/pepto
-Small first aid items: bandaids, alcohol wipes, antibiotic ointment, q-tips
-These days, a few face masks
-Socks
-Stocking caps, hand/toe warmers and gloves when the weather is cold
-Sunscreen when it’s hot
-Maybe a small can or two of meat (such as tuna) or individual peanut butter containers
-A couple of lunch-sized fruit containers
-Sometimes a small notebook, or sketchbook and pens/pencils, or a paperback book
-I keep a separate bag of feminine hygiene products to add when appropriate
-Sometimes I will put a few cups of dry dog food into plastic bags to give out to the pooches I come across
-Any other small items I come across that I think I might appreciate if I was in their shoes
-I like to include a little cash (or gift card)

It also never hurts to ask people what would be helpful to include if you get the opportunity, and let their responses guide you. I keep my eyes open all year for these types of items on sale, and stock up when I can. Buying in bulk can help offset the costs, and Dollar stores can be a good source, too, but be careful to check for quality.

I pack the items into a large zip-lock plastic bag to keep them dry and include a few extra plastic shopping bags (for trash or that washcloth when it’s wet). I also add at least a couple of clean black garbage bags rolled up, which don’t take up much space and can be used in many helpful ways: to put a sleeping bag into to keep it dry; to place under a sleeping bag so moisture from the ground doesn’t seep in; to place on top of a sleeping bag to help keep the rain off; or to use as a rain poncho. (Keeping your belongings dry is always a challenge when you live outside in the PNW!)

The care kits go into my car, or I might hand them out personally at an encampment, or I donate a bunch to the Window of Kindness or a local mutual aid pop-up. I also try to keep bottled water on hand to distribute with the care kits; refillable containers (BPA free!) are even better if you find them on sale. Water is always important, but especially in summer months!

Anyone out there have other ideas?

Shared in the loving spirit of this community,
Shelli, a Facing Homelessness Board Member

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you’re moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/ and click on the ‘donate’ button and consider a gift that is meaningful to you--even a “monthly recurring” donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!
#justsayhello #facinghomelessness #kindness #TheBLOCKProject

JustsayHELLO

JUST SAY HELLO| Part Two

This is the second post in a series offering thoughts on connecting with our neighbors in need.

We all have days when we don’t want to engage with others. There are factors in our lives that make us more introverted or extroverted, more or less trusting. This is just as true for unhoused folks as anyone else.

Experiencing homelessness can be traumatic! We often hear reports of neighbors in need being disrespected, or even physically hurt or abused by others. As the person not currently experiencing homelessness, I believe it’s my responsibility to ensure that I’m not adding to the trauma of folks who are. I try to remember that the experience a person has with me could either hurt or help them, especially when that person is vulnerable because of the situation they are facing.

Let the other person guide the interaction. Remember days when you’ve wanted to be left alone, and other days when you’ve eagerly looked for a connection with others? It’s important to recognize the individuals we encounter who appear to need help may not want to interact with us! Just because someone is in a challenging situation, we can’t assume they want us to get involved. If our goal is to authentically connect with and help someone in need, it’s our responsibility to watch for cues and respond accordingly. Body language reveals a lot about whether a person is open to interaction, and if so, at what level. Respecting their feelings is critical!

When a person who seems to be in need obviously doesn’t want to interact with me, or seems to resent my intrusion into their world, I try to remember that perspective is perfectly understandable! I have no idea what they’ve been dealing with, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s their right to be reserved or grumpy and my responsibility not to judge.. When I sense a response like that, I try to withdraw tactfully with kindness and don’t take it personally. And sometimes I encounter a person on the street who is obviously agitated, so I just stay out of their way. I use common sense and trust that feeling in my gut to guide me in how best to relate to someone.

On the other hand, sometimes folks seem to be starving for a little love and attention. If that appears to be the case, when I have the time and feel comfortable, I engage in longer conversations, especially to listen and offer empathy for whatever they are dealing with. If a person is sitting down on the curb or sidewalk, I often sit down with them, so we are on the same level. Because of our life situations, there is a de facto power imbalance between us, so I try to minimize that as much as I can.

Appropriate respectful touch. If I have been visiting with someone and felt we’ve made a connection, I often ask them if they want a hug, though I watch their body language so I can quickly withdraw the offer if they seem uncomfortable with the suggestion. I try to remember not to assume my comfort level is the only one that matters (especially since COVID). Also, when I hand someone a power bar or some cash, I might make a point to hold their hand briefly if it seems appropriate to the situation and feels right. I remember being on the street as a kid and feeling like a pariah; someone who, if they weren’t invisible, ought to be. So, it’s important to me to convey my care through respectful touch when I can, to help them feel seen and valued. Some of the most poignant moments I have ever experienced were when I used my hands to warm the rough frigid hands of a neighbor standing in the cold (then I offer gloves!). But I only do this in situations where the person seems open to that kind of interaction based on their facial expression and body language, and our mutual eye contact. If I’m ever in doubt, I won’t go that far. I try to carefully walk the fine line of respecting someone’s space and autonomy, while also recognizing the person in front of me may be hungry for human contact.

Sometimes, time and caring attention can be the best gift you can give someone! But always lead with empathy and let their words and body language help guide you; and when in doubt, just smile and say “hello!”

Shared in the loving spirit of this community,
Shelli| Facing Homelessness Board Member

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you’re moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/ and click on the ‘donate’ button and consider a gift that is meaningful to you--even a “monthly recurring” donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!
#facinghomelessness #justsayhello #TheBLOCKProject #kindness #windowofkindness

JustsayHELLO

JUST SAY HELLO| Part One

So, you see a person standing outside the grocery store with a hopeful look on their face. You know too many of our neighbors are trying to survive without housing or other basic needs. And you care! But you’re not sure what to do. So, maybe you avoid eye contact and rush into the store, hoping they are gone by the time you come out again, but promising yourself you’ll do something to help next time.

Not everyone feels comfortable right away when it comes to approaching and connecting with a person who appears to be in need, someone who might be living unhoused. But it has been my experience that it helps to be prepared and it gets easier with practice. In a series of posts, I’m going to share some strategies that have helped me engage in a supportive way.

Start with the right frame of mind. It’s so important to walk up to someone with sincere nonjudgement and kindness in your heart! Your feelings and intentions can be felt by the other person. If you’ve had a crazy day and you’re feeling stressed, this might be a time when a nod and a gentle “Hello” as you walk by is the best choice. Save more personal interactions for another day. Don’t assume someone wants to interact with you. Never force an interaction and don’t assume anything. Try to be mindful of their comfort level and potential need for privacy, which are more important than your desire to help. Make eye contact and watch their body language. If either are telling you not to approach, a nod, a smile and a friendly “hello” might be the best strategy.

Introduce yourself. If you feel ready to do more and you sense an openness to interaction, act the same way with a person flying a sign asking for help as you would with anyone else: With courtesy and respect. Say “hello,” tell them your name, and then ask them for theirs. (Bonus: try to remember it so you can address them by name the next time you see them!) Have you ever had someone you just recently met call you by name? It has the potential to make a person feel especially valued.

Depending on your comfort level and their reaction to you (as well as your vaccination status), you might also offer to shake their hand (especially if you are both masked), just as you would if you were being introduced to a new colleague. A polite introduction can go a long way in helping someone feel seen and cared for.

Offer through a question. You don’t need to wait for someone to ask for help. If the opportunity presents itself, you might ask them:

“Could you use a little help today?” This is often what I say if I’m offering something to someone.

“Can I buy you a sandwich?” Shopping for them while you are shopping for yourself is a great way to handle that grocery store scenario.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” And if their request is more than you feel comfortable doing, you might say, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that for you, but I’d be happy to >fill in the blank< if that would help?” It’s OK to have boundaries and respect your own comfort level.

Keep a little cash handy. I hate fumbling through my wallet when a person asks for help, so I always keep two or three dollar bills ready in my pocket or coin purse, and in the console of my car. If you feel uncomfortable giving cash, you might invest in some food gift cards to carry with you.

Keep snacks or other essentials in your purse, backpack or car. I carry extra protein bars in my purse, and keep extra water bottles, socks, or care kits, gloves and hand warmers in the winter just behind the passenger seat of my car so I can safely and easily grab them to hand out at a stop sign. But safety first! As much as I want to help someone, when in my car, my rule is to think of the person’s safety first. If my handing them something as I’m driving by might put them in danger of being hit by another car, I don’t do it.

If engaging with someone in need is new to you, start small. It helps to prepare ahead of time so you feel less awkward in the moment. And remember— they are just another beautiful important person like you. Regardless of their circumstances, they deserve the good things in life as much as you do.

If you’re ever in doubt, Just Say Hello. Being seen is a basic human need, and “hello” is the simplest entry point. Sometimes a hello is all we can give and that’s OK. Social connection is healing—for all of us. So……What is your favorite way to say “Hello?” Let us know!

Shared in the loving spirit of this community,

Shelli| Facing Homelessness Board Member

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you're moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/
and click on the 'donate' button and consider a "monthly recurring" donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!
#Kindness #FacingHomelessness #JustSayHello

communityACTION

PLEASE MEET SEAN:

Please meet Sean. He's a reallyREALLY good guy. Over the past month his life has been turned upside down.

Sean works full-time as a mason. He also takes side masonry jobs. While working one of these side-jobs he fell 7'-0" off a ladder and shattered his heel. Instantly everything changed for him.

He spent two weeks in the hospital with doctors reconstructing his foot. When released he came home to find he'd been booted from his shared housing arrangement. His roommate's girlfriend had moved in. Without income there was nothing he could do.

He went to a friend's condo for some temporary couch surfing. A week later he found that his truck had been towed. He hadn't registered it with the condo-office.

In a matter of several weeks Sean went from living inside fully employed to being homeless without work and without his truck and tools.

By the time Facing Homelessness talked with Sean he was without HOPE. Early in our conversation he said, "I am so grateful that FH will listen to what I've been going through. I don't know where to turn." This is one of the things the FH COMMUNITY does best - to listen, connect, and be in community with each other.

Sean's truck had been in the tow yard for ten days. The fee was nearly $1,200.00 and all he had was $300. Facing Homelessness picked up the rest. For just under $900 this community helped keep Sean on a path of pulling himself back into housing.

We can Just Say Hello. We can get to know each other to be there in times of celebration and in times of need.

Sean has another month of healing before he can get back to work. If anybody has a small masonry job needing to be addressed, like tuckpointing a brick chimney, please let us know. We would love to connect you up with our new buddy Sean!

Wallingford Neighborhood | Rex

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you’re moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/ and click on the ‘donate’ button and consider a gift that is meaningful to you--even a “monthly recurring” donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!
#facinghomelessness #justsayhello #TheBLOCKProject #kindness #windowofkindness

beingHUMAN

PLEASE MEET MIKE QUINLAN:

This is Mike Quinlan of the Montlake Bicycle Shop giving Jane, who lives homeless in this tent, a bicycle. So darnDARN BEAUTIFUL!

I want to try and connect this beautiful act to why it's so important for each of us to reach out and take part in the journey of understanding and ultimately ending the community crisis that is homelessness.

A man who lives in a home near the Miller Playfield called. He said, "The community feels unsafe when using the field with people living homeless there." Then he added, "I'm an advocate for the children." I thanked him for that. I respectfully shared that all the people living in those tents are someone's child. He said, "Amen."

At the first tent I asked out loud, "Anybody in there?" A faint "yeah" came back. When I asked if they wanted socks three voices in unison said loudly, "Yes!" A young man unzipped the tent flap and said hello with kind eyes. They had set up their tent here because of being asked to move from the last spot.

At the next tent another young man answered back to the sock offer with a, "Yes Sir." When he came outside I asked where he was from, telling him nobody around here called me Sir. He said that he was from Texas, was looking for work, had never been homeless before. As we turned to go he thanked us again for the socks and then added, "But mostly, thank you for taking the time to talk with me."

At the next tent we met Jane. She was distraught because a good deal of her and her boyfriend's things had been stolen, including her bicycle. I let her know that Facing Homelessness and Montlake Bicycle Shop had partnered in the past to get bicycles for folks living outside. She was overwhelmed with joy over this possibility.

The next day, this same man who had called saying the community feels unsafe using the field, who had been afraid to visit those living there, on his own brought water to several of the folks he had met on our walk. I'm not saying he does not still have concerns, he does.

What I am saying is that when we come closer to the issue of homelessness, and we do so with an open heart, we not only provide service to those struggling, but we move ourselves forward to join the solution in ending homelessness.

Three days later Mike Quinlan delivered a new bicycle to Jane.

Just Say Hello.

Capitol Hill Neighborhood | Rex

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you’re moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/ and click on the ‘donate’ button and consider a “monthly recurring” donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!
#justsayhello #facinghomelessness #yesinmybackyard #kindness #TheBLOCKProject Montlake Bicycle Shop

beautifulSEATTLE

PLEASE MEET DANNY:

I've heard yelled in meeting halls, "Seattle should be called Free-attle". It's easy to hold onto, catchy and clever. Our inner voice can say, "Yeah, why are we just giving people stuff, I've worked hard for mine."

To begin with, let's be clear, the only stuff that is important in life is the basic-needs-stuff. The rest of stuff is just stuff. Why are we so freaked out about giving it away? Why are we still making stuff more important than people?

The stuff people on our streets need is the basic-needs-stuff. It's that simple. Nobody should be in need of basic-needs-stuff. Nobody. If you don't feel the same, come closer to those struggling, you will feel differently.

Danny lives homeless in a truck. He's become a beautiful friend for me over the last 5 years. There has been a great deal of pain in his lifetime, I've seen just a small part of it.

I told Danny I was leaving FH on July 1st, that I wanted to make my last post about him. When we first met, July 8, 2015, he was cooking bacon, hash-browns, and blueberry pancakes on a grill next to his RV. I was biking past on the Burke Gilman Trail. I said hello and he invited me to breakfast!

So here is the thing, there is only one Danny. But there are two views of him. One that society sees from arm's-length, which includes a broken down RV (not anymore with his Nissan Pathfinder), a good deal of pot smoked, no job, a stressed relationship with the police, and more. Basically the negative stereotype against homelessness.

The other view, the up-close and personal view, is radically different. It moves from seeing the 'issue' of homelessness to seeing the person. It answers to the negative of the arm's-length view. This up-close view sees the sensitive and beautiful person that Danny is. He has lived in RV's because he has had two big dogs which makes it nearly impossible to find housing. They are his best friends. One recently sadly passed, which has been horrible for Danny. He smokes pot because it calms him, it allows him to function through the anxiety. He served in the military and suffers PTSD, which shows up when dealing with authority figures like the police.

For every negative that you might find and feel about Danny, or anyone else living on the street, know that your opinion is informed by the arm's-length view. If you come closer, to see the human being, to hear about their journey, your opinion will change. You will get to see the person.

Danny shared how emotionally difficult the past few years have been for him. That only a few friends have stuck it out with him when he was all over the place emotionally. That he appreciated I hung in there with him. I began to stream tears.

It's me that is so very grateful for Danny's friendship. This is the power of coming closer, of Just Saying Hello.

Danny was able to purchase a Nissan Pathfinder and needs help with registration costs, tabs, and some gas. Hoping we can raise $400.00 for him.

UPDATE: Paypal link has been removed in that our goal of raising $400 has been reached with $483.60 donated!!! WowWOW!!!!! We know this is going to greatly help Danny move forward. A HEARTFELT thanks to everyone!!!
No funds will go directly to Danny, no funds go to Facing Homelessness, as is always the case, and if there are funds remaining, they will go to someone with a like need. Thanks SO very much!!!

Georgetown Neighborhood | Rex

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you're moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/
and click on the 'donate' button and consider a "monthly recurring" donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!
#Kindness #JustSayHello #FacingHomelessness Crosscut KING 5

easilyMISSED

PLEASE MEET BRIAN:

You've paid for parking. Two hours time. It should be enough to drop books off at the library, grab coffee at your favorite coffee shop, and then head to the park to sit, relax and catch up on social media. Along the way you pass a man sitting on the curb next to his truck, which is also his home. You didn't see him, but he was there.

You don't know it, but this man is a beautiful person. Yes he's fallen on tough times, but he's gentle and caring. He doesn't have much, but he's into helping others, sharing his time.

He could be anyone, but his name is Brian. He's 64 years old, grew up in Butte, Montana working the mines. He loves heights and depths, the deeper the better, he was made for mining. Not anymore though. Too old, too many injuries.

The truck he lives in was given to him by Brother Isaac at St. Luke's. A gift to his friend just before passing away. They had come to enjoy each other's company, taking care of the grounds. The truck had been sitting for a long time, because of it the tires and battery are shot.

We would like to raise $1,000 for Brian to get (4) new tires and batteries, the truck takes two. It would mean the world to him. He wants to use the vehicle to help move belongings to storage for friends living on the street. He's just that kind of guy.

I know social media is important. Heck, Facing Homelessness has 53K people on this page reaching out with kindness. But maybe, just maybe next time you are out and about, look for that person sitting alone, having a tough time of it. I promise your life will shift if you stop and Just Say Hello. The human experience of it all will be infinitely more real and beautiful than anything you'll find on your phone.

A community size LOVE to you Brian. Thanks so much for sharing about your life, especially all the interesting stuff about mining. As soon as this Covid virus is under control I'm going to take you up on your offer of heading to the mountains to pan for gold. I got a good feeling about it!!!

Ballard Neighborhood | Rex

A QUIET THOUGHT - If you're moved by the goodness of this community, please visit http://www.facinghomelessness.org/
and click on the 'donate' button and consider a "monthly recurring" donation of just $5 in support of the work. THANK YOU!
#JustSayHello #Kindness #FacingHomelessness Crosscut KING 5 The Bridge Care Center Linda Soriano

deepGRATITUDE

PLEASE MEET CHIAKA:

Ten years ago I met this man. His name is Chiaka. He's a prolific genius artist. He forever changed my life.

While his artful way impacted me greatly, what mattered most was the friendship he openly invited me into. He shared his journey of homelessness, both his struggles and successes. He trusted me to see him, to know him, exactly as he is. Nothing more, nothing less.

What I discovered over these last ten years, beginning and running this page, is that Chiaka's invitation to come closer, is not unique. Every one of us, living inside or out, at some level, wants to be seen as we are. Nothing more, nothing less.

This is what we owe each other. To break down the barriers of separation and 'Just Say Hello'. To come closer and see for ourselves the person standing in front of us. To not judge. To not control. To just be and feel and love.

Facing Homelessness is asking of all of us to journey creating relationships as a means for building healthy community. And what is beautiful about that, is that healthy community does not accept homelessness.

With overflowing emotions, I want to share that on July 1st I am stepping down at Facing Homelessness. It would be impossible to convey how important these last ten years have been for me, getting to come closer with all of you.

The decision to leave is similar to the reason for why I began. And that is, because my heart tells me it is time.

Facing Homelessness is in this beautiful place of having transformed itself into a vibrant advocate for those in need. It is supported by many thousands of people all putting LOVE first as the foundation for ending homelessness. That is no small thing, in fact, it is a bigBIG THING!!

Its programs of 'Just Say Hello', 'Window of Kindness', 'Community CleanUPs', and the 'BLOCK Project' are thriving with a dedicated staff, board, and community to go with!

I look forward to all the beautiful future conversations I get to have, now as a volunteer!!! A heartfelt THANK YOU to every single person that opened their heart on this collective journey.

At Facing Homelessness we often say, 'Our personal journey defines the direction of this org, not the other way around.' This includes all of you. We are all in this together!

Feeling so much LOVE.

Seattle neighborhoods | Rex